The ‘Self’ as described by Carl Jung, is the “God within you”, also referred to as the ‘Soul’ by some religious schools.
While doing someone’s healing the other day, I told the person – “You need to love yourself first, and be kind to yourself for the healing to be complete”. The response I got was – “What does ‘love yourself even mean..!”
Yes, most people aren’t aware of self-love, as it is something that has not been taught to us as kids. In simple terms, self-love means taking care of the self, so that you can take care of others. Which means physically, emotionally and mentally take care of yourself and your needs. This does not make one selfish, rather it makes one self-aware.
The concept – When you don’t have something yourself, can you give it to others?
Who doesn’t like to be loved and appreciated by others? But at what cost? We end up losing our own unique individuality, to begin with! Not knowing who we really are, what we really want and what makes us happy, because we are so busy trying to make others happy, trying to live a picture perfect life.
Most of us have been told by our families, friends, and acquaintances, at an impressionable age, as to what is right by their standards. You might have even been shown the ‘perfect’ girl or boy depicted on television, which leaves a mark on our character, and turns us into confused little souls later on in life. We have been misled to believe that behaving or acting in a certain way will earn you brownie points.
If you notice the lives of the ones who did everything for others but themselves, they weren’t very happy or satisfied at the end of the day, they always felt under-appreciated or there was this sense of deprivation. No matter how many people loved and adored them they still felt empty within.
Striking a balance
There is no need to be rude or nasty, but at the same time, you need to know how much you can push yourself. People will eventually appreciate you for your honesty and straightforwardness, and the ones who don’t….well, need I say more?!
How to love yourself & develop ‘self-respect’
When we come down to the crux of the matter, here’s a list of pointers for you to consider when starting your journey ‘self-love’ –
- You’re not the image of what you want other people to think of you, you have your own character and are your own person.
- Its ok if you’re not the perfect version of the person in the eyes of society. No one is. And if they are then again at what cost needs to be seen!
- God made all of us different, gave us different strengths etc. So stop comparing yourself to others, and focus on your good points instead. I always quote Albert Einstein on this one, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
- There is nothing wrong with feeling what you feel and expressing yourself, kindly.
- Realize that not everyone will be happy and support you in your decisions, but if you really feel that you need to do it for yourself, then go ahead and do it as long as it gives you happiness and you’re not harming anyone.
- Don’t keep waiting for something or someone to happen. Continue on your path. Focus on your growth and keep the faith that if it is a part of God’s higher plan, it will work out for you.
- People will walk in and walk out of your life. It does not mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means that their role in your life is over. Try and understand the reason why they came into your life, what lesson they taught you and be grateful for the learning experience. When you are grateful for your misfortunes chances are you have grown in that aspect of life and the same thing will not happen again, as you have prepared yourself to receive something greater.
- Even if you fail miserably at something, know that you had the courage to do something different and the knowledge and wisdom you gained by it are not in vain, they will help you in life. For if you haven’t failed in life you’ve either been lucky or just too scared and sadly haven’t had the chance to grow and learn some of the great lessons of life! Also, you won’t be one of those who keeps wondering, what if!
- Love & Respect yourself enough to walk out of any situation that does not treat you well. When you love and respect yourself the way you are, the good, the bad and the ugly… for everything that you are, you will suddenly experience this ecstasy, this sense of freedom and love which nothing can compare to
What to expect after learning to love the self?
- You will not accept anyone in your life who doesn’t love & respect you the same way (if not more) and helps you grow as a person. The naysayers will be out forever as they would have sensed your new found respect for yourself.
- You will know your weak points and be prepared to deal with them.
- Your relationships will be nourishing and uplifting
- You will not feel dejected by others as you will be your own master, by keeping your interests first.
- You will understand and respect others when they don’t feel like doing something instead of being upset and hurt over it.
- You will be able to Love better, with a more honest and pure heart, because you are being true to yourself which is the first step in being true to others.
Lastly and most importantly, God made you out of his own energy, in him, we have our being. We are all Children of God and when we harm ourselves, in any way – physically, emotionally or mentally – we are actually harming a part of God that is within us.
Love & Respect your ‘Self’.
– Contributed by Ms. Amrita Mann, a professional Pranic Healer @ The Silver Lining
You can connect with Ms. Amrita Mann HERE